fastblack

i'm hurting. the next few weeks i'm sticking to my guns and not socialising. i don't want it anymore. i always have a huge list of things to do, i'll own up to that. somehow, though, i always end up doing these things with a bunch of people i don't really want to be around. a lot of the time i'd be happier to go out by myself. so in the weeks leading up to christmas, nobody tags along.

joining the gym that will also be hosting my boxing gym tomorrow. i've never worked out on machines before, so i'm going to give it a shot. looking kind of dough-y these days. starting to get a bit of love handles or something. never had anything like that before. weird. i am getting old.

bad news: two people died, separate incidents. got rained on, no umbrella, soaked to the bone. then more problems with the natives.
can't wait to go home and switch off for awhile.

good news: going into the studio very soon, probably immediately after the x-dress show. our friend dave's the engineer. i think we'll have to school him a bit ahead of time, give him some samples of what kind of sound we want (he's in his early 20's, kind of a nu-metal guy). very excited now.

last night i dreamed that i was in some office building in 1930's new york. maybe like the bowery or something. anyway, i fell in love with a woman there. she was being stalked by this fat guy who had done some really bad stuff to her. he was a construction worker, making a building next door. i went over there and stole a steam roller and squashed him. there wasn't any blood or anything. it was strange. then i went back to the girl but she had fallen in love and run off with someone else. them's the breaks, i guess. anyway, i was really bummed because i still had to dispose of this flattened fat guy. i went into the office and found one of those tubes that you put blueprints in and i went over there and rolled the guy up and put him in the tube. then i put some rocks in and threw him in the ocean. then i woke up. even in my sleep i'm a weirdo.

my boxing gym is not dead after all. in fact, it's alive and well and moving to (get this) the same building as the bowling alley. now i can feed both of my obsessions at the same time. yow.

nothing happening at work these days. that's good and bad. no lay-offs yet (pick me, pick me), but i have to assume some are coming.

went to the dentist for the first time in years. it was not as bad as i'd thought. i thought my teeth were rotting out, but it turned out to be just an old filling that needed replacing. only cost 200 for the cleaning and x-rays. next: the doctor. haven't been to see one of those guys since i broke my arm. oh, and to get tested for stds. time for a proper check-up, though.

started designing some shirts and stuff for Real Problems merch. i'll need help, but i know a lot of great designers. i think we should come up with some kind of symbol/coat-of-arms type thing. i've been inspired by my new boots (finally bought some daytons. oh my god, best purchase ever). i think we should make our stuff like old-fashioned motorcycle gang style. see if we can make it like some kind of club or something. turbonegro took that route with the "turbojugend" and it was a stroke of marketing genius. of course, our club will be canadian and not norwegian, and therefore inherently 10 times trashier.

supposed to work on a new song with den tonight. i don't know. not in a rockin' mood. was listening to nick drake on the bus today, watching the rain. feels more like a staring out the window kind of day. BUT have to be ready for the cross-dress show (sylvia donated some high heels that light up when you step. awesome.).

the cheapest flight i can find to get home for xmas is 728 bucks. with transport to and from airpot, that'll work out to about 900. i should just fly overseas, it'd be cheaper.

someone at work told me all my grumpiness was a front, and that really i'm a big softie. they're right, you know. it kills me to admit it, but i am a big softie underneath it all. i wish i wasn't, but you either got it or you don't. right? i AM a hopeless romantic, and i DO like disney films and happy endings. goddamn it. i'm doomed. ha ha ha.

weekend's shaping up to be a good one. just talked to denny. he says we may get into the big studio in the next couple months, so we gotta be ready. i'm ready, alright. boy, am i ready.

i'm fixing stuff. i really am. hooray for me. still a miserable bastard lately, though. for a number of reasons. but they'll get dealt with, one at a time.
ah, this job really sucks.

search for a new job is in full effect. went out for lunch with my old "friend" and workmate today, who in the last few years has made a steady climb up the corporate ladder. he's realised that i avoid him now, i think. with good reason. we can't be friends anymore. i used to really like him. it's a shame he's become this way. i don't understand these guys with their power-hungry alpha-male corporate mentality. it sickens me. but then i'm sure they don't understand my style either. after all, i don't compete, money means fuck-all, i don't care about how my car looks or how i dress. but i'll tell you one thing: people like me a whole lot better. and i'm dead sure i have a lot more fun.

going to try to get the guys to cover this song.  the best thing is that almost nobody will have heard it.  SRB never recorded an album.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=motGa-jXAKc

playing a show at a cross-dress party december 9th.  don't know if that means we're going to cross-dress as well.  i said i'll wear anything and play anywhere, but i don't know about the other guys.

going to start planning my next trip soon.  not the canadian ones, they don't count, although i will be doing a lot of them this year.  i'm thinking maybe australia, take that train across the outback.  it's a 3-day trip.  about 1200 bucks for a sleeper car and fare.  that way i can see all my friends in melbourne, as well as go surfing with christoph and anya in perth.
was also thinking of eastern europe.  i promised monika that i'd visit her again, but maybe i shouldn't go back to manchester any time soon.

had an eventful weekend.  lots of fun.  wasn't sure how it was going to end up after friday night, but things smoothed out.
went to see this band on friday:

http://www.myspace.com/luvmenots

it was great.  except that nobody dances in vancouver.  lame.  so i started dancing with my friend tine.  then this young girl leaned over to tine and said, "stop dancing.  you're ruining the show."  i yelled over her shoulder, "hey tine, you tell her to GO FUCK HERSELF."  i think the girl and her boyfriend might have left after that.  ok, so i probably could've been nicer.  but seriously, ask the band if they think dancing is "ruining the show".  vancouver hipsters are so boring.  that's why nobody likes playing here.
had a rough start the next day.  didn't get out of bed til 3.  then went up hastings street for breakfast.  on the way we stopped by dayton boots to look in the window.  inside i was watching some young girl try on some boot.  i noticed the man she was with staring out at me from the corner of my eye.  i turned and looked at him, and it was my favourite canadian actor, callum keith rennie!  pretty cool.  he was the guitar player in "hard core logo", my favourite canadian movie.
so then i had a three hour band practice with very little sleep and no beer (a first).  frinished that and had no voice left.  did write another song, though.  it's a good one. 
i was exhausted, but i promised i'd make it down to the fairview for the show that night.  boy, am i glad i did that.  what a show.  danced again.  my band was there with me.  it was good hanging out with those guys.
got up even later on sunday, walked down to chinatown and had some cambodian dinner (congee and pig's blood, some big fish that they deep fried and slapped on a plate and frog's legs).  really great.  then went to tinseltown to watch the new coen brothers film.
ok, so doesn't sound so amazing when i read this back, but i thought it was a very successful weekend.
i've decided to try another tack.  leave the phone off, don't commit to anything.  this is kind of working.  i hate having plans.  i do have to quit promising stuff, though.  i almost always deliver, but i'm not always happy about it.  wandering aimlessly around the city is where it's at.  that's a weekend, man.

took my car in to be serviced.  the tranny's on it's way out, to be sure.  the guy told me 2500 to replace it.  i said i'd drive it into the ground.  so he topped up my fluid and sent me on my way.  for free.  nice guy.

my thai electrician just handed me a nut that looks like satan's head.  look:

tonight i wanna hide again.  but i guess i better get out there amongst the masses, see what's up.

keep saying i'll get to the gym, but that ain't happening.  i'm too lazy these days to do anything but play guitar and drink beer.  i can't get myself to do ANYTHING.  it's been awesome for my social life, let me tell ya.  not too interested in moving, talking.  nothing.  my guitar wanking skills are improving, so that's cool.  but it's been a pretty lethargic week, i guess.  feels like a dream.
is christmas here yet?
my car bit it last week.  i have a feeling it's the transmission.  that would cost about 3 grand...  hopefully i can drive it as far as the scrap-yard...  boo.
one thing is true:  this band will record a demo next month, play two shows and go into the studio (big fancy studio) in january.
got started on some new songs last night, going to play them for denny tonight.  going to review our halloween video also, see what we can do to improve.

my costume disappeared pretty quick.  couldn't play with it on.
sly took the photos.

one step forward, two steps back.  whenever i start to get settled in and have a good time something always gets in the way.  p'toooooie.

did get to work on my singing a bit last night.  going for a more soulful garage rock approach with this new stuff than the usual punk shouting and wailing.

well, had a great party on saturday.  played my first show with three other bands, all good.  people doing drugs and having sex in the bathrooms.  the cops came and somebody threw a chair at them from the top floor.  a scarecrow was set on fire in the middle of the lawn at 4am.  no fights, no missing gear, no serious damage to anything.  good times.
now the real work starts.

this is the kind of thing i'm going for with my band.  i'll have to work on my moves.  a lot.  ha ha.
love these guys.  wish there was more live footage of them.  note, the guitar player with the long straight hair (closest to the camera) is sonic smith.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM6nasmkg7A

so i think next summer the band is going to do an almost-cross-canada tour.  we'll see how the first few shows go, but i think people will like our stuff.  we want to go all the way out to montreal.  then i could set up a show in kitchener-waterloo with "the rotten", my friend's band and the local heros.  how cool would that be.  i used to live with those guys as a teenager.
but first we gotta get this halloween test-run out of the way.

need a halloween costume.  waited too long again.  might just douse myself in blood.  maybe i'll get a robe and wrap up my hands.  i could be a boxer.

why would anyone want to play "rock band" when they could actually start a real rock band?  me and denny were talking about it the other day, and both of us agree that practicing with the band is easily the best part of the week.
video games suck.  technology is ruining our children.  it ruined my generation, and it'll fuck up this one even more.  i feel sorry for the kids these days.  they don't have much to hold on to, as far as culture goes.  what have they got?  the rich kids got whiteboy indie rock, the street kids got 50 cent.  twitter, text messages and "the hills".  pretty grim.

they're supposed to be free, but i believe we have a shortage here.
i'm not getting one.  i'll take my chances.  besides, it would be much nicer to die of the flu than cancer, which is likely where i'll end up.

like i said before, being a simple canadian boy (and a bit of a dopey bucolic one at that), there are certain parts of my personality that i can never get away from.  there are things i've struggled against as a young man trying to get by in the big city (as "big" as vancouver is), trying to be some kind of hip, worldly dude.  now i believe there are aspects of a person's being that are defined and laid out at a young age that can never really be put aside. 
one thing that i especially appreciate is a good old fashioned DIY punk show at a house, or in a basement somewhere (which i'm still organising, attending and playing in at age 32).  well, that or a newfie kitchen party.  either one's as good as the other.  if you don't know what a newfoundland kitchen party is, it looks more or less like this:   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R5Ur30B5fw&feature=channel

another thing that is seemingly indispensable is cheap beer.  in a can.  pilsner, lucky lager, pabst blue ribbon, labbatt blue, etc.  it doesn't taste like much, but when it's ice-cold, it sure is refreshing.  also i seem to have a real penchant for wearing plaid trucker jackets.  or as we call 'em, squamish dinner jackets.  extra lumberjack points for wearing it with a tuque (yeah, i called it a tuque).
come to think about it, i'm a lot more attached to this country than i had thought.  maybe it's the time of year that's got me thinking.  the walks in the forest in the fall, the bonfires, coming in from a day out in the snow and settling down in a warm pub with your friends...
i wonder if darcy's got a job at the brewery for me...